第19章

I wandered in a suburb of the north, And reached a spot whence three close lanes led down, Beneath thick trees and hedgerows winding forth Like deep brook channels, deep and dark and lown:

The air above was wan with misty light, 5The dull grey south showed one vague blur of white.

I took the left-hand path and slowly trod Its earthen footpath, brushing as I went The humid leafage; and my feet were shod With heavy languor, and my frame downbent,10With infinite sleepless weariness outworn, So many nights I thus had paced forlorn.

After a hundred steps I grew aware Of something crawling in the lane below;It seemed a wounded creature prostrate there15That sobbed with pangs in making progress slow, The hind limbs stretched to push, the fore limbs then To drag; for it would die in its own den.

But coming level with it I discerned That it had been a man; for at my tread 20It stopped in its sore travail and half-turned, Leaning upon its right, and raised its head, And with the left hand twitched back as in ire Long grey unreverend locks befouled with mire.

A haggard filthy face with bloodshot eyes, 25An infamy for manhood to behold.

He gasped all trembling, What, you want my prize?

You leave, to rob me, wine and lust and gold And all that men go mad upon, since you Have traced my sacred secret of the clue? 30You think that I am weak and must submit Yet I but scratch you with this poisoned blade, And you are dead as if I clove with it That false fierce greedy heart.Betrayed! betrayed!

I fling this phial if you seek to pass, 35And you are forthwith shrivelled up like grass.

And then with sudden change, Take thought! take thought!

Have pity on me! it is mine alone.

If you could find, it would avail you naught;Seek elsewhere on the pathway of your own:40For who of mortal or immortal race The lifetrack of another can retrace?

Did you but know my agony and toil!

Two lanes diverge up yonder from this lane;My thin blood marks the long length of their soil; 45Such clue I left, who sought my clue in vain:

My hands and knees are worn both flesh and bone;I cannot move but with continual moan.

But I am in the very way at last To find the long-lost broken golden thread50Which unites my present with my past, If you but go your own way.And I said, I will retire as soon as you have told Whereunto leadeth this lost thread of gold.

And so you know it not! he hissed with scorn; 55I feared you, imbecile! It leads me back From this accursed night without a morn, And through the deserts which have else no track, And through vast wastes of horror-haunted time, To Eden innocence in Eden's clime: 60And I become a nursling soft and pure, An infant cradled on its mother's knee, Without a past, love-cherished and secure;Which if it saw this loathsome present Me, Would plunge its face into the pillowing breast,65And scream abhorrence hard to lull to rest.

He turned to grope; and I retiring brushed Thin shreds of gossamer from off my face, And mused, His life would grow, the germ uncrushed;He should to antenatal night retrace, 70And hide his elements in that large womb Beyond the reach of man-evolving Doom.

And even thus, what weary way were planned, To seek oblivion through the far-off gate Of birth, when that of death is close at hand! 75For this is law, if law there be in Fate:

What never has been, yet may have its when;The thing which has been, never is again.